Alright, my man, let’s talk about something that makes a lot of guys want to throw their phone out the window—how women actually pick their partners.
Thanks to the internet, we now have more knowledge about female psychology than ever before—which is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because we can finally understand what’s going on. A curse because… well, some of this info makes you want to lie down in traffic.
One of the biggest game-changers? Hypergamy.
This is just a fancy way of saying women date up. They want a man who’s taller, richer, stronger, more confident—you get the idea. If dating were a video game, women are out here trying to unlock the “Boss Level Boyfriend” while most dudes are just trying to stop respawning at the “cheap bar downtown.”
Now, here’s where most guys get it wrong. Some get so discouraged they just quit dating altogether (like an unplugged controller). Others think they can “hack” the system and expect women to start throwing themselves at them like NPCs in a romance game.
Both of these approaches are straight-up delusional. Let’s break down why.
Mistake #1: Thinking Hypergamy Only Benefits Women

A lot of guys hear about hypergamy and immediately have an emotional meltdown.
“Wait… so women only want the top 10% of men? And I’m not in that group? I guess I’ll just go live in a cave and count rocks.”
Lol relax bruh,
Yeah, dating isn’t “fair.” Most of the time, men have to make the first move, which means they experience the most rejection. And if the relationship ends, women are usually the ones pulling the plug, meaning men get dumped more often too. It sucks.
But here’s what these guys miss—becoming a high-value man benefits YOU first.
Think about it. If you start hitting the gym, guess what? YOU get stronger. If you build wealth, YOU get more freedom. If you develop confidence, YOU stop caring about dumb things.
Women might want a top-tier man, but you are the one who actually gets to BE that guy.
Even if a relationship doesn’t work out, you still keep the benefits. It’s like leveling up in real life—nobody can take that XP away from you.
So if you’re out here saying, “Why should I even try?” Bro, the answer is simple: because YOU win, regardless.
Mistake #2: Thinking Women Hand Out Relationships Like Prizes

Now, on the other side, some guys hear about hypergamy and think:
“Oh, so if I just get rich and ripped, women will automatically show up? Sweet, let me start my six-pack and six-figure plan!”
I hate to break it to you, but no.
Look, getting in shape and making money definitely helps—but it doesn’t guarantee anything. Women don’t just hand out relationships like Chuck E. Cheese tickets to dudes with abs and cash.
Imagine you’re a brain surgeon who also looks like a Calvin Klein model. You’re crushing life. You walk into a bar, expecting women to fall at your feet.
Instead, you sit there all night… alone.
Why? Because success doesn’t replace game.
Women aren’t out here thinking, “Oh wow, he has a six-figure income—guess I have to sleep with him now!” Nah, she’s still wondering:
- “Does he make me laugh?”
- “Does he get weirdly mad at slow walkers?”
- “Did he text ‘lol’ instead of laughing like a normal person?”
- “Would our kids have weird-shaped hands?”
Bro, I don’t make the rules.
Even if you have everything on paper, you still have to start at zero with every new woman you meet. Every time.
That’s why you see some guys—who aren’t rich, ripped, or famous—still crushing it with women. They know how to talk, connect, and build attraction.
Meanwhile, the dude who spent 10 years getting a Ph.D., a six-pack, and a luxury apartment is still standing in the corner of the club holding his overpriced drink like a confused NPC.
The Harsh Reality: No Shortcuts

At the end of the day, hypergamy is real, but it doesn’t work like most guys think.
- It’s not about women winning and men losing—self-improvement benefits you first.
- Becoming a top-tier man won’t automatically make women show up—you still need game.
- Even if you’re in the top 10%, you’re not off the hook. Women still have personal preferences and emotional needs that go beyond your income and abs.
Most guys either give up entirely or expect their success to do all the work for them.
Both of those mindsets set you up for failure.
Instead, focus on becoming a man you actually enjoy being. Because when you do that, everything—including dating—gets a whole lot easier.
Now, what do you think? Does this match your experience? Drop a comment below. And if you found this helpful, consider reading a few more posts. You may find more interesting stuff
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