I’m a big believer in the idea that the things we do every day—the modest forms of romance—are more important than the grand gestures we save for one day a year, like Valentine’s Day. So, here are nine subtle and unexpected ways to be romantic with someone you care about:
1. Surprise Dessert Delivery
This one comes straight from Jameson. After being apart from him for a while, I’m giddy to be back with him, and this idea is pure gold. You’ve already planned dinner—they know what’s on the menu—but then, just when the plates are cleared, the doorbell rings. Who’s that? A robber? No, it’s the Dessert Baron. (Okay, I didn’t think that one through—robbers don’t ring doorbells.)
2. Watch the Movie They Want to Watch
This could be a movie they’ve been dying to see or, even better, one they’ve already watched and want you to experience. You know how someone hyping up a movie can make you not want to watch it? Fight that urge. Say, “Yeah, I’d love to!” and actually enjoy it. There’s nothing more fun than sharing something you love with someone, so let your partner have that joy.
3. Start a Sentence with “Do You Know One of My Favorite Things About You?”
Try this: “Do you know one of my favorite things about you? How much you care about the people you love. You always go out of your way for them, and that’s beautiful. I love that about you.” Bonus points if it’s something you’ve never told them before. There are always little things we admire about people but never say out loud.
4. Text Them at an Unexpected Time
Shoot them a sweet text when they wouldn’t normally expect one. Maybe you just stepped out for a run, saw them ten minutes ago, and midway through, text them, “I love you.” It could even be something simple like, “I miss you already,” five minutes after you leave for work. The unexpected context makes even obvious messages feel special.
5. Do an Anonymous Act of Kindness
Do something nice for your partner without expecting recognition. Leave a glass of water by their bedside because you know they’ll want it later. Don’t announce it—just do it. If they notice, great; if not, that’s fine too. These little acts of kindness deepen your connection and make you love them even more because you’re investing in their happiness.
6. Listen for What They Want and Make It Happen
Hear them casually mention something they need or want? Get it for them the next day. Whether you’re ordering online or grabbing it from a local shop, don’t wait for a special occasion. Surprise them with a thoughtful gift that shows you’re paying attention.
7. Interrupt Work for Love
If you’re working from home, take a break to give your partner a kiss or a cuddle. We’re all guilty of pausing productivity for distractions like social media, so why not pause for love instead?
8. Fix Up an Area They Use Often
Tidy up their workstation, reorganize a drawer they use, or add a little accessory to make their space better. These thoughtful touches show you’re thinking about them even in the small moments of their day.
9. Tell Them You’re Grateful for Something They Don’t Realize You Notice
Reflect on what you used to argue about in past relationships and think about how those things aren’t issues now. For instance, if your partner handles difficult family dynamics with grace, thank them. Say, “I know my family isn’t easy, but you’re so kind and compassionate. Thank you for being such a great teammate.”
When we give romantic gestures or gifts, we shouldn’t just focus on what people need (socks for Christmas are practical but boring). Instead, give them what they want—or better yet, what they don’t even know they want.
Pay attention to their goals, fears, frustrations, and the little things that bring them joy. It’s like Marie Kondo’s idea of “sparking joy”—except instead of decluttering their house, you’re filling their life with moments of happiness.
And remember: relationships thrive on these small, meaningful actions. So, go spark some joy for your partner today—you’ll both feel the difference.
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