So for the first time you’ve matched with a girl, and now you’re staring at your phone like it’s a weapon of mass destruction. Now that you don’t want to ruin it, you’re anxious. I’ve got you covered, little brother, so don’t worry. Here are the three steps to texting that can help you stand out, build rapport, and possibly even get her approval. Now let’s begin.
Phase 1: The Icebreaker Stage
This stage is all about making a solid first impression. Think of it as your audition. If you’re competing with 20 other dudes in her DMs, you need to stand out. No pressure.
Step 1: Dealing with Dry Texters Ever get a one-word reply like “lol” or “k”? Yeah, me too. Back in college, I matched with this amazing girl on a dating app. She was gorgeous, and I thought we had a vibe… until her replies were dryer than my grandma’s Thanksgiving turkey. Most guys give up here, but not you. Here’s what you do: start with something fun and specific.
For example, if she’s wearing a cool jacket in her profile, say, “Hey, that jacket you were rocking in your pic? Absolute fire. Where’d you get it?” Keep it light and interesting.
Now, if she stays dry, call her out in a playful way. Say something like, “Wow, a woman of few words. Mysterious… I like it.” It’s cheeky, and it might just get her to open up.
Step 2: Gauge Her Response If she keeps it short or doesn’t respond, cut your losses. You’re not a circus clown here to entertain someone who isn’t interested. But if she starts matching your energy? Game on.
Phase 2: The Obsession Stage
Congrats! You’ve broken the ice. Now it’s time to shift gears and really get her invested in the conversation. Think of this as leveling up from Mario Kart’s 50cc to 150cc—it’s serious business now.
Step 1: Get Off the Crowded Apps Here’s the deal: Tinder, Instagram, and Snapchat are like trying to have a deep conversation at a loud party. Too many distractions. You need to move the chat somewhere more personal. I’m talking WhatsApp, or better yet, good ol’ texting.
Here’s how you do it: After some solid banter, casually drop, “I don’t really check this app much. Want to text instead?” Trust me, moving to a more personal platform automatically makes you stand out from the pack.
Step 2: Shared Interests Are Your Golden Ticket This is where the magic happens. Studies show shared interests boost attraction by 28% (yeah, science!). If she’s into fashion, like that girl I met at a friend’s party who was obsessed with New York Fashion Week, bring it up naturally.
I once told her about this random fashion event I attended. Did I know much about fashion? Not a chance. But I talked about the designs, showed her some photos, and—boom—we had a great conversation. Shared interests build connections, so find what makes her tick and lean into it.
Phase 3: The Flirting Stage
Okay, champ, this is where it gets real. You’ve built a connection, and now it’s time to turn that spark into an actual date. This is the riskiest stage, but if you’ve done the groundwork, you’re golden.
Step 1: Don’t Be Creepy Whatever you do, don’t start gushing over her looks in every message. You’ll come off like every other guy. Instead, focus on her interests. For example, if she’s got a picture with a dog, say something like, “Okay, but that’s the cutest dog ever. What’s their name?” It’s thoughtful and shows you’re paying attention.
Step 2: Use the Martin Luther King Technique This is my signature move. Wait for her to send the first message, like a simple “Good morning.” Then reply with, “How’d you sleep?” She’ll probably ask how you slept, and here’s your golden moment: “I slept well, but I had the craziest dream that you and I were playing mini-golf. You’re surprisingly competitive.”
If she laughs or plays along, you’ve got your in. Say something like, “Guess we’ll have to see who wins in real life. Are you free this weekend?” Smooth, right?
Final Thoughts
TTexting a girl can feel like walking a tightrope, but if you follow these steps, you’ll go from “just another guy” to someone she’s genuinely excited to talk to. Remember, confidence is key. And if it doesn’t work out, don’t sweat it. There are plenty of fish in the sea—and you’ve got the skills to reel in the right one.
Now, go out there and crush it. And hey, if you use the mini-golf line, let me know how it goes—I’ll be waiting to hear about your victory lap. Good luck, bro!
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