Some things you really have to sit down and ask yourself—are they really worth it? Let’s talk about the friend zone and why men get stuck in it.
The Orbiters: The patient Hyenas
They’re called orbiters. Dudes hanging around a woman, waiting for their shot, convinced that if they just play the long game, she’ll see the light. I’m gonna be honest with you, bro: she won’t. If you’re in the friend zone, you’re not waiting in line; you’re in the waiting room with no appointment.
You think a guy with options is going to take a woman seriously if she’s got five other dudes lingering in the background, ready to pick up the slack when he’s busy? Flip it around—imagine you’re dating a girl, and she tells you her “friend” Michael takes her to dinner, her “buddy” Jake goes with her to the gym, and her “work bestie” Chris sends her daily “good morning” texts. You’re supposed to be cool with that? If the roles were reversed, she’d be destroying your PlayStation by the time you get home
Difference Between a Trophy and a Participation Ribbon
Men are hunters—it’s built into us. But that also means we know the difference between a trophy and a participation ribbon. If you’re with a girl and she’s keeping backup options around, that’s a red flag. And yeah, maybe she’s the best-looking girl you’ve ever dated, so you ignore it. But if you pulled one, you can pull another. Scarcity mindset will have you making dumb choices, like hanging onto someone who’s keeping you in her personal rotation.
The Friend Zone Horror Story: Meet Dave
Had a friend, we’ll call him Dave. Good dude, smart, solid job, but my guy was in the friend zone so deep he was basically her “bro”. Every time this girl needed something—a ride, a favor, emotional support—Dave was there, hoping it would “lead somewhere.” You know where it led? To her introducing him to the guy she actually wanted on a video call… And he had to smile through it.
My man had to sit with her and a couple of other friends as she went on about this “great guy.” And she knew exactly what she was doing, though I’m willing to bet that she would never admit it. Dave was the unpaid Uber, the therapist, and the emergency handyman—all for a girl who had zero plans of being with him.
Women Know Exactly What They’re Doing
Women know their orbiters want to sleep with them. They keep them around for the attention, the validation, the free meals. The only reason those guys are still in the picture is because she’s entertaining them.
Now, let’s be real. Women will tell men to “be more approachable” while only dating guys who act like they don’t care. That’s not a theory; that’s the playbook. A dude who’s got women around him? Mysterious. A woman with male orbiters? Not exclusive. And if you don’t see the problem with that, go ahead and imagine your girl getting a “wyd” text at midnight from her “friend” Greg. Feel good? Hehehe, I didn’t think so.
Another Case Study: Meet Mike
Lol, but I have another one—let’s call him Mike. Dude was dating a girl who swore up and down her best guy friend was just that—a friend. Fast forward six months, they break up, and guess who she’s dating? Yeah. “Just a friend” got promoted the moment my guy got cut. Happens every time.
The Double Standard You Need to Recognize
The moment you tell a woman to cut off her orbiters, she’ll say you’re “controlling” or “insecure.” But let’s flip it—if you had a woman who looked better than her, had a fatter booty, and was always around you, how do you think she’d react? Women know the game; they just don’t like it when they’re on the losing side of it.
You want a woman who respects the relationship? Watch how she treats the men trying to get in. If she’s entertaining them, she’s not loyal to you—she’s just keeping her options open. And if she’s got options, so should you.
The Reality Check: Stop Wasting Your Time
And listen, I get it. You want to believe in the best version of her. But relationships aren’t built on blind trust; they’re built on reality. If she’s out here with five “just friends,” she’s not the one. She’s running a backup roster.
If a woman is really about you, she won’t need convincing to act right. And if she does? You’re wasting your time.
The Final Word: Learn From My Mistakes
Now, this might have been short, but I hope you got the point. I have made terrible mistakes in relationships, and learning from them actually led me to start this website as a way of teaching myself too. What you don’t want to do is give a woman the ammo to say she used you. Trust me, it will haunt you into your next at least three relationships.
Be smart.
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